How to Navigate Child Custody Battles

Parenting is not easy. It can be emotionally draining, stressful, and restless at times. It can be even more difficult if you’re going through a divorce or separation, especially if you’re involved in a custody battle. 
 
Unfortunately, ending a relationship or marriage and having a child means that as a parent you face many challenges and changes. From new living arrangements and financial pressures to how and where children spend time together and raise their children. It can be hard just thinking about it.  

Parental conflicts take a toll not just on the parents, but also on the children. It’s common in these situations that parents get caught up in their own worries that they end up not doing what’s in their child’s best interests. 

Our Family Lawyers at Melmark Law in Melbourne have put together some common mistakes that parents make during child custody battles, and how to mitigate them so that you can act in the best interests of your child. 

Saying unflattering things about the other parent in front of your child

The early stages of separation can be tough, especially with the added stress of co-parenting and a custody battle. It is often tempting to say mean things about your child’s other parent in the heat of the moment, especially if the other party isn’t being very cooperative. 

Although this can be a temporary way to ease your frustration, it often negatively impacts your child. Children are sensitive, and they wouldn’t be happy to hear bad things about their parents. You should allow your child to have a positive relationship with both their parents. 

In case there’s a slip of the tongue and you end up badmouthing the other parent in front of your child, this can affect the child’s relationship with that parent, and even with you. It is something that may even be used in court against you, about how the other parent should have custody instead of you. 

What you can do instead is to vent your negative feelings to a neutral party in a way that won’t go back to your child, or the other parent. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counsellor. This could be a good way to work through your own feelings and find a healthy outlet and coping mechanism. 

Emotionally manipulating your child

Although no good parent would intentionally try to manipulate their child, sometimes it may happen inadvertently, even when you have the best of intentions. Your frustration about your custody and co-parenting situation may drive you to try and persuade your child into understanding your situation.  

This can be a form of guilt-tripping, although it may not be your intention. Your child may feel bad for you and be tempted to “take your side” which is unfair both to them and to the other parent. 

Once again, it is important to deter your child from having a positive relationship with the other parent, although you and your ex-partner may not be on the best of terms. It’s common to have negative feelings about your ex during a separation, and it’s best to find a support group that can empathise with you and listen to your frustrations. 

You can also consider discussing your situation with a family lawyer such as the experts at Melmark Law. We specialise in custody and parenting matters and can help you navigate your legal situation, and make sure you’re doing your best for your child. 

Not communicating with the other parent

None of us like the idea of talking to our exes, especially if you’re on bad terms with each other. However, the situation is drastically different when you’re parents. Having a child is a lifelong commitment, and you need to step up to the role. 

When your kids are young, you and the other parent have endless decisions to make, from schooling, leisure activities, their diet etc. While all these situations may not need the other parent’s approval, there are equally as many things which do. 

Things like playdates, parent-teacher conferences, picking your child up from school etc are all decisions which will require you to communicate with the other parent. Big decisions such as schooling and medical treatment have long-term effects, so both parents should have a say in the matter because they are equal shared responsibilities.  

There are so many ways you can communicate with your ex that do not involve seeing them face to face. You can text, talk on the phone, have a shared calendar for your child’s responsibilities or even use a co-parenting app! 

In case your parental dispute makes its way to the Family Law court, communicating positively with your ex is also something that’ll be seen as a positive in the eyes of the court. 
 

Not giving the other parent access to your child 

Intentionally making it hard for the other parent to have access to your child will be seen negatively if your case makes it to court. Sadly, some parents do use their children as pawns when navigating tough emotional situations such as separation or divorce. 

You should never withhold your child from the other parent, even if your relationship with them didn’t end well. This may even lead to your child feeling alienated from you in the future since you actively did not let them engage with their other parent. 

It stands to say that you should be doing your best to foster a relationship between your child and the other parent unless you believe there is a reason to fear harm to your child. If you are preventing the other parent from seeing your child because you believe they are at risk of being hurt, then this is the right thing to do. 

Some of these situations may be: 

• The other parent is violent towards you or your child 
• The other parent has implied that they may not return the child to you 
• The other parent is under the influence of drugs 

In this type of situation, it is best to reach out to one of our Family Law experts at Melmark Law for avenues to protect yourself and your child. If you or your child is in immediate danger, contact 000 for emergency services. 

Are you involved in a child custody dispute and require legal advice? 

We understand that custody is a delicate situation, especially if you and the parent do not have a healthy relationship. Our Family Lawyers at Melmark Law are highly trained and experienced in assisting with family law matters involving parenting. Reach out to us at info@xenodochial-liskov.139-99-238-150.plesk.page and one of our family lawyers will assist you.